Don't worry, I'm not trying to start a debate. I actually respect all decisions regarding the working vs. stay at home debate. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer about this, just what works best for the family. And for us, what we're doing is not working. I work part-time, mostly at home, and Dave works full-time at an office. He makes most of our income and he carries our insurance. So, when it comes down to it, his job comes first. With Mateo's growing healthcare needs, and my kids strange ambition to constantly be sick, I've been missing a lot of work. The way my job is set up is that I can make my own hours and create my own schedule. Great, right? But I still don't have time. I feel torn in two. First of all, my kids come first. Always. But because they are so needy, I am not doing well at my job. Or not as well as I could be doing. And I have good work ethic so I'm not okay with doing a half-assed job. It makes me feel guilty and horrible. When I'm with the kids, whether at the pediatrician or some various therapy, there is a nagging voice in my head telling me all the ways I'm behind in my job. When I'm actually working, I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.
Plus, my job is becoming more and more institutionalized. When I started it was fun. We were a private non-profit organization that really didn't answer to anyone but ourselves and our mission. Now we're becoming more and more controlled by the government. All the fun got sucked away as people who have no idea what we do are telling us how to do our jobs and how much money to use and for what. Now it's just stressful and frustrating. I'm sure everyone who works feels that way about their job. But I'm already so stressed at home that I can't take another stressor in my life right now. Maybe if things were different, if the kids were older, it would work out better.
So, I'm in the process of quitting my job. Or at least decreasing my hours to evenings and weekends when Dave will be home and we don't have to pay for childcare that we're barely making enough to afford.
I'm worried about this move. It wasn't an easy decision. I'm worried both financially and mentally. Meaning I hope I don't have a nervous breakdown being with the kids all day every day with no breaks. Mateo doesn't nap anymore. Maya has never been a good napper. Dave will help in the evenings and weekends of course. But I still worry.
Anyway, what have been your obstacles in working or staying home? What works in your household and what are the challenges?
I work outside of the home. My job was full time but with Jada's appointments and such, I went to working part time. Me being single and money being tight, I took a temporary, second part time job. There are many challenges. My mind is always on Jada (how is her mood, did she scream at anyone, is her blood sugar low). Then there are the appointments, we must have at least one per week if not more. My work has been suffering lately because I am too exhausted to actually do it and I just sit and look like I am working, which bugs me and doesn't make the day go any faster. If I could stay home, I would. But I think that would have its challenges too. Jada has to get out of the house at least once per day. But she is in school so that helps with that. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and your family and that is all that matters.
ReplyDeleteWell you know how crazy I am with 2 jobs, 3 cleft affected kids and then dealing with my family issues. But it does work for us. I carry the insurance and the $ is good. It is alot easier that the kids are in school now--but my days off--which are few and far between--are spent running to the doctors and orthodontist. I get crazy sometimes--but I have found work is actually a good break for me. We're also lucky in that Ted has flexible hours--and I can work a PM shift and still be available for the daytime needs. As you said--each family has their own needs. I HAVE to work. Its my adult time--even though I work in pediatrics! But we've always known I'm "strange"! LOL
ReplyDeleteI wish I had an answer. I go crazy. I dream about re-joining the workforce. For now I am just looking forward to Elizabeth starting preschool in the fall and I will probably enroll Molly in a mother's day out program a couple times a week.
ReplyDeleteHow do I cope with being a stay at home mom? Two words: Internet Addiction